Are You There God? It's me, Giggles.
Highlights from Le Weekend
LYFE
“Do you run? It’s hard. It’s suffering. It’s difficult. The illusion is that the finish line is the destination. But the act itself is the destination.” - From the film Air, with Ben Affleck as Phil Knight.
I thought of this as I ascended and descended all 8,300 steps at the LA Coliseum this weekend.
I had unfinished business as I was only able to complete half of “the climb” last year due to a baby shower for one of my good friends. I remember it being insufferable. But I had to do it.
What many people know is that I have lived in a world of grief for 1.5 years. What many don’t know, is that I live with a lot of guilt. Not just the trauma, but guilt.
I am sure this is common for many people living with grief.
My mom’s lung disease came out of nowhere. One day we were having backyard bbqs, the next we were in grim doctors appointments staring incredulously and unblinking at pulmonologists, thinking that perhaps I was having an out of body experience. This couldn’t be my life? But it was.
Many people would categorize me as caring, empathetic, thoughtful. Which I am. But when I was working in a crisis, with not enough resources, I had to wear too many hats, and was not that person. To have one parent ailing is one thing. To have two was well, a nightmare.
I was angry. In shock. In a supporting role that I had never played, with my mom as the star. We weren’t who we were. The usual mother and daughter who would grab Sugarfish for lunch accompanied by a shopping trip. We didn’t have the same relationship. We were both hurt, scared, and unable to be vulnerable.
There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t wish that we could have just laid our swords down, looked at each other, past the fear, and said, “I am really scared.” And she would reply, “I am too.”
Do I go to the LA Coliseum stairs to raise money for the American Lung Association?Sure. But I think deep down I am really there to atone.
Overall, I feel complete that I did the entire stairs at the LA Coliseum. I found it to be cathartic and a nice way to honor the strength of my mom.
Here are some other topics from my weekend.
Products
This hasn’t left my hand since I went to Sephora last week.
I saw this Loewe bucket bag in the wild, and it has been on my mind.
Food
The best apple pie in all of Los Angeles is at The Pie Room in Beverly Hills. It’s $14 and is basically a personal pie. Their chicken pot pie is also incredible.
#chefjordan had a mortadella sandwich from Lorenzo’s that he claims was life changing.
I went to Frieze two days in a row. One was for the art, the other was the food & Champagne. Giggles loves a deal.
The Hillstone kale chicken salad is much better at South Beverly Grill than at R+D.
I made these Ina Garten chocolate chip sheet pan cookies that are labor intensive, but are light and delicious.
They were giving these cheese puffs out for free (again we love a deal) at the Erewhon valet and I haven’t stopped eating them. Pirates Booty X Smart Food Popcorn X Cheetoh puff.
Stuff to Watch
“Surviving Black Hawk Down” on Netflix is a series that walks through the battle of Mogadishu with perspectives from US soldiers and Somalis. I didn’t leave the couch for 4 hours.
“White Lotus” on HBO but honestly I’m disappointed by the theme song, and the pace. We’re on episode two, and I just feel like I am left hungry (in a bad way) after these two episodes.
“Scamanda” on Hulu. Woman fakes cancer multiple times and scams community, employer, and friends. WILD!
“The Traitors” on Peacock. Murder mystery with reality stars set in a beautiful castle in Scotland. I can’t get enough.
LiTeRaTuRe
“The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. If you catastrophize/create narratives, of something that could go awry, this is a good book for you. Highly recommend via Audible.
“In The Flo” by Alissa Vitti. I wish someone had given this to me at sixteen-years-old. Shifts your perspective on periods, and talks through cycle synching. I am here for it.
Misc.
Russian manicures are life changing. What was I even doing before RMs?
I hit 200 classes at Barry’s Boot Camp. I don’t want to do the math.
The end.
Thank you for reading.